Growing Up

Vista Pool

Musings about Public Speaking and Growing Up

My hand got sweaty and I got a little dizzy when I was asked lately to speak in front of a roomful of people. I noticed my words suddenly became incoherent and irreprehensible and my voice dropped down to a whisper when I started to formally defend a preposition in front of strangers. I know this has happened to a lot of people and that it is actually normal but I am a little bothered because this has not always been the case.

People have often told me that I am a very confident person, that in fact, I am a go-getter. I see new and complicated material in front of me as a challenge—a hump to hurdle or even a mountain to topple. Strange things do not deter me from finding out how to fully maximize it and unfamiliar places and faces do not frighten me at all. In fact, I am a very sociable creature, predisposed to hanging out and partying hard when the occasion arises.

How then did this happen? How did my comfort zone not extend to the public arena where I was required to speak clearly and cleverly?

Perhaps, I am getting older. I have now become a person more inclined to introspection. As my life experiences stack up and I become more equipped in dealing and coping with the ways of the world, I have also become more mindful of the consequences of my words and my actions. Though there are days when I think of the day’s events and find myself fretting over the smallest and pettiest of things and I’d get listless mulling if I’ve overdone it or should have revised to say something more clearly and cleverly than what I’ve already said, I find that there are more days when I am more satisfied and contented with myself because of the way I have handled situations and have taken responsibilities over what I’ve said and done. I now find that things turn out better than normal.

As I’ve said, I am sometimes a bit bothered because this is not the usual me but I accept all these—I EMBRACE it—because I know I am growing up.

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